Recently two parties were arguing over a small amount of money.
Spoiler alert- it didn’t settle. Despite best efforts, they just kept circling back to past behaviors and perceived wrongs.
See, each was convinced the other was out to get one over. Yet neither saw themselves in that light. It’s a paradox: when someone else is wrong he’s evil, but when I’m wrong it’s a mistake, a bad day, a headache, or any other number of excuses.
So we absolve ourselves, condemn the other guy, and bear the burden, carrying the nagging resentment with us ad infinitum.
Can’t speak for anyone else, but for me, that resentment is a poison, as sure to kill my spirit as anything. So when I’m resolving a conflict, I need a master’s toolbox and a student’s willingness to try them all.